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At Hidayah we believe that it is important for our members to have an avenue to be able to express themselves. We also believe in highlighting these stories to show that we are visible. Blogs are independent of Hidayah. Please read these blogs and stories below by clicking on them. More blogs and stories by LGBTQI+ Muslims will be added regularly as they are submitted.

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Blog Posts

18 Jan 2020

My name is Md Nadim Uddin, 30 Years old. I was born in Muslim family. In back home I was closeted GAY men, I was unable to speak to anyone about my sexuality, I cried many night in my own because I had no one to speak to about my sexuality, the unbearable pain I went through. 

When I reached adolescence I realised I was emotionally and sexually attracted only to men. I did not desire a single women so I knew I was different but I was scared, alone, depressed, zero self-esteem, terrified of being find out about my sexuality by other people.

I was told being homosexual is dirty, sinful and I believed it. I was raised as a Muslim in our religion there is Imam stating that if you are practising homosexual or parents of homosexual you will go to hell. With this mix messages bubbling in my head I started to become depressed without even realising it. I would be there with my friends and family but I would felt so fake. At this time I will tell myself if I just smile everything would...

My unexpected friend, you encountered me on my voyage to Motherhood, as I sat in solitude, meditating in the silence of the night. You came like the desert wind upon my life, made up of many colours of storm.

You stood in front of me with confidence and exquisite beauty like the colours of autumn leaves, your eyes reflected the light of the dawn.

You spoke through my mind, you took the words that I was thinking, even though you have much to learn, much to grow I saw that your essence is very much like mine. It is that which made me drawn to you like the echoes from the stars.

How we moved like the torrential rain in between the Earth and the Sun, we are the two unexpected souls walking through the passage of time, how quickly our friendship unravelled like the Ocean’s wave to the shore.

For how long or short this friendship may last, like the fragrance of the musk, the sweetness of its smell still lingers long after it has vaporized.

“Why can I not sleep the whole night? God, I must get to work, I feel so hollow, I feel like just being miserable in bed for the rest of the day, Let's contemplate a sickness.”

These were the thoughts running in my head one Tuesday morning after my life was wreaked havoc due to an unfortunate turn of events. It was predictable. It was expected. But what I didn’t see coming was this glitch in my system. This unsettling early morning feeling of the pit in my stomach consecutively for a few days after a night of absolute insomnia was unwarranted. We human beings are extremist, can be very mean or can be extremely disconsolate yet try and get on with life. But I failed miserably to the idea of “Mohammad you can do it! You are a man, nothing can affect you! I am sure nothing affects you!”. I ended up crying most days and most nights and that’s when I decided to finish my life and realised that I am down with depression. Yes, immediately I came to terms with the fact that this is my medical...

23 Sep 2019

Almost three years ago I wrote an opinion piece about being bisexual and Muslim. Looking back now much has changed for the better. It surprised me by how much, something I didn’t realise until I re-read the article just a few months ago.

Day to day the changes seem non-existent. It’s with the benefit of hindsight you can see the glacier shift long distances.

Perhaps the most significant change, in addition to now identifying as gay rather than bisexual, is my religious outlook. Back then I understood sexuality through the conservative prism I had been brought up with, i.e. I thought being “actively gay” i.e. having gay sex, was haram. So whilst I accepted being gay and Muslim was possible from a legalistic point of view (as sexuality is something you cannot control), acting upon desire (having sex) was not. That basically meant there was a part of me that still sat, despite the progress I had made up until that point, uncomfortably in my Muslim identity. In other words, I still believed...

13 Sep 2019

There was a constant hustle and bustle of the visitors coming in and out celebrating an auspicious day in our calendar. After all, this is what it’s all about; meeting each other on the basis of love and acceptance for each other. I can’t help but sit here and peel away at the layers of that and wonder if that ‘true love and acceptance’ has truly permeated in their hearts.

Mums living room was a spectacle of simultaneous events taking place but for me it was yet another brief moment in time and space which I’d like to admit I was accustom too. However, that would be me being economical with the truth. What I am accustom to are the feelings I’m experiencing but that’s never become any easier to understand. However, I have become better at dealing with them. What bugs me is that I shouldn’t have to be dealing with that.

The rooms aroma was densely filled with a collage of perfumes, aftershaves and that distinct scent of expensive oud saved only fo special occasions. The nostalgic scent of...

20 Aug 2019

Where are you all?

Sitting cross legged alone in my room

Enveloped in the dark silence of the night

Mind racing from one half-

formed thought to

another violently up-

rooting the serenity of

logical cognition

Speculating who else could be like me

Who else is trapped, shackled

into subservient silence?

Being an anxious analyser

I go straight for the data

1 in 10 is gay I am told

I cannot then be alone…

But is it any surprise

We choose not to advertise?

At the receiving end of damning rhetoric

We’re sent cowering within ourselves

Chastised for earthly love

“That kind of stuff doesn’t happen to us”

I have been duly informed

“It’s unnatural, dirty and a crime against God”

I have been duly warned

Enough salted tears I have cried

On my face now crusty and dried 

Who has the time for Pride

When inside I have died

Living within the close community

and family that raised you

moulded your person and personality

Could be what also kills you

The greatest fear of all is to be found out,

Before my time, denied my right to come out


13 Jul 2019

This is the conversation I had with a good friend of mine today. As people of LGBT+, many of us have spent an incredible amount of energy, time and sacrifice in trying to keep our families happy. In fact, we have made ourselves unfairly expendable in the grand scheme of things. Just so we can be accepted and loved by them, unconditionally. For we love them without condition. That is one of the many blessings Allah has bestowed upon us as LGBT+. For most of you, you just choose to see what you feel is ‘wrong’ about us. Due to that, you overlook the blessings that Allah has given us and many which you all benefit from.

I stand by what I have always said about true love and how it should work. It has to be unconditional, otherwise it is nothing less than a contractual love. Almost as if it is a contract which you are bound to for life. "If you do this, I will love you. If you do that, I won’t love you". That is not unconditional love. That is a contract of the ideal of love which you crea...

8 Jun 2019

One of the arguments that is often said against the case of the acceptance of homosexuality is this: that there is a consensus (ijma’a) on the issue on the prohibition of homosexuality and that no normative scholar has ever said it was permissible. And therefore there is no scope to accommodate this. Below is a closer look at the argument that is often used…

What is ijma’a  إجماع (consensus)?

Ijma means the unanimous agreement on a ruling for a specific issue in Islamic law (fiqh فقه). The ironic thing is that there isn’t an ijma’a on what constitutes as an ijma’a (1). There are three common definitions of what ijma’a is:

  1. The consensus of the companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم (the Sahabah)

  2. The consensus of the scholars.

  3. The consensus of the scholars and the lay people.

Notice if there is just one dissenting opinion, then ijma’a is not reached. Because of how convoluted the issue of ijma’a is, there are scholars who claim that to reach ijma’a is impossible. Imam...

9 May 2019

A: When the Quran speaking about marriage, it only mentions a heterosexual couple. That makes sense because heterosexual people make up more than 95% of the human race. It's a pertinent issue that will organise the family unit and thus organise society in a way. And also it is heterosexual couples who will be producing offspring. It's a hell of a lot more pertinent issue than homosexuals. Just because the Quran only mentions the heterosexual couple doesn't mean that homosexual are excluded. The Quran doesn't mention every single issue out there. Allah would then expect us to rely on our brains to find solutions. I would ask those same people who use this as an excuse against gay marriage, I would reply "why can't we use qiyas (analogy) so that marital rights are extended to homosexuals"? Qiyas/Analogy is actually a tool used in Shariah to deduce rulings.

2. The people who oppose same sex marriage use this verse to say that the Quran only permits marriage for heterosexual couple from Sur...

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